dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
