I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
