he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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