Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
