I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
