Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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