hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
