four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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