Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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