It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Couch. On fire.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
