Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
