I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
