how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So many bounce houses so little time
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
