I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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