I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
