How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
