someone get that fucking seahorse.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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