College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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