I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
