So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
