All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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