oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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