I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
