why didn't you poke me back
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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