please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
