I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
