rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If I die, sorry about rent.
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