Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
