He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
