I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
