Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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