The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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