If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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