thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
