return my video game
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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