Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
