Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
