youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
