Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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