that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
