I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
