I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
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I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
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You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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