they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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