Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
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Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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