I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize