Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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