please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
