Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I understand Curling. That high.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
