I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
