mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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