ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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