drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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