I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
