Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I love you. Go after that dick
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
