I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
