I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
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I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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