i would punch a child for taco bell
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
