I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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