girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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