Pants 0. Shit 1.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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