I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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