Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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