kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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