When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
